Modified from list given by Counselor, PTV school.
Forms of sex abuse-
Touch that feels uncomfortable or unwanted by child, watching sex
organs/ nudity or sex acts, talking about sexual topics- whether done by child,
to child, in front of child with or without participation or consent of child.
Remember that children cannot consent. These are usually imposed by an adult or
another much older child.
Children between 2- 6 years engage in ‘exploratory’ sexual
play. It is normal developmental milestone where children are trying to explore
and understand their surroundings, which includes sexual parts of self and
others. Children are found to watch themselves nude in mirror striking
different poses or touching themselves, even masturbating. In Nurseries,
daycares, or at home when unsupervised they may look at or touch private parts
of other children- This is not to be considered as sex abuse. Children are to
be gently distracted and their questions to be answered. They are to be
educated about not to look or touch other kids, and about limits of behavior.
These will be their first lessons in sex education. But if a child older than
7- 8 years is engaging in sexual behavior- this is definitely abnormal and
requires further investigation.
Other than that
1.
Children are to be told- nobody in the world,
including closest relatives are allowed to touch them or kiss them when child
does not want it or in a way that the child dislikes.
2.
No question of good- bad touch. All unwanted
touch should be resisted by child. Other than that parts of body covered by swimming costume are 'private' and no one is allowed to look or touch, or child is not allowed to look or touch of anyone else
3.
Child should be taught to express what makes
him/ her uncomfortable. You should support the child if you are with him/ her
rather than forcing him to kiss, shake hands, etc with uncle/ aunty/ others
4.
Inform the child that some persons may ask them
to keep ‘secrets’, and that in such case child should immediately inform
inspite of promising otherwise
5.
Question the motive of any person who shows
undue interest in the child showers him/ her with gifts, or if child fears
someone. Never keep ANY child alone with any person known to have such
tendencies
6.
Be alert about toys, gifts and other items you
cannot account for. Be sure to question their appearance
7.
Sometimes child molesters use lies to lure
children- such as asking for help, or reporting that their family members are
in trouble and they want to take them, etc. Explain to children never to
accompany any person, known or unknown without your permission. Clearly designate a trusted adult whom they
may approach if you are not available.
8.
Children showing sexual behaviors and knowledge,
injuries or fearfulness are indictors of abuse. Sometimes child may report the
abuse. Take immediate cognizance of the child’s report. Your trust and what you
do later to protect the child will determine the recovery of child
9.
Teach the child to recognize absolute ownership
of their body and mind, and that any unwanted overture is to be resisted immediately
and strongly.
10.
Girls and boys, young and adolescent all
children are at risk of abuse. Most abuse happens at the hands of known persons
who have easy access to the child. So never be too sure that nothing can ever
happen to a particular child. Precautions and watchfulness are essential in
every case. Educating the child to take care of himself/ herself is the best
strategy in this regard.
