The most common problem encountered by parents nowadays is 'How to connect with my child?'. The common advice is 'talk to your child' I would say- talk as less as possible to your child.
Talking continuously can benefit only an extremely young infant, less than 6 months old. The essential skill or quality for being an effective parent is the ability to play and be playful around your child. And the main thing is to listen and respond- not just to talk.
Spending quality time is essential for creating an emotional connection with the child. Parents are unable to give enough "quality" time to their children,. I have found that this malady can affect all types of parents- even housewives who spend 24 hours at home and have someone to take care of their house or fathers who work from home. A parent can give "quality" time only if the parent enjoys being with the child
Ask yousrself whether you really enjoy being around your child? Without going into the reasons or justifications for this lack of enjoyment, confess it to someone- the best candidate for this confession is a counselor/ psychologist/ psychiatrist. The reason is- other people/ professionals are prone to be in denial that such a thing can happen or else may judge you as an 'abnormal' parent.
There are two reasons for not being able to enjoy being with your child
1. parental mental illness
2. ineffective and inconsistent parenting due to which child misbehaves
Lack of time is never an issue- if you enjoy being with your child you will be drawn to find time and once you are with your child you would not realise how time flies.
I have found that unless these factors are corrected, no amount of effort in any other way can correct the parent-child relationship.
In a nutshell- connect with yourself first- then connect with your child
Talking continuously can benefit only an extremely young infant, less than 6 months old. The essential skill or quality for being an effective parent is the ability to play and be playful around your child. And the main thing is to listen and respond- not just to talk.
Spending quality time is essential for creating an emotional connection with the child. Parents are unable to give enough "quality" time to their children,. I have found that this malady can affect all types of parents- even housewives who spend 24 hours at home and have someone to take care of their house or fathers who work from home. A parent can give "quality" time only if the parent enjoys being with the child
Ask yousrself whether you really enjoy being around your child? Without going into the reasons or justifications for this lack of enjoyment, confess it to someone- the best candidate for this confession is a counselor/ psychologist/ psychiatrist. The reason is- other people/ professionals are prone to be in denial that such a thing can happen or else may judge you as an 'abnormal' parent.
There are two reasons for not being able to enjoy being with your child
1. parental mental illness
2. ineffective and inconsistent parenting due to which child misbehaves
Lack of time is never an issue- if you enjoy being with your child you will be drawn to find time and once you are with your child you would not realise how time flies.
I have found that unless these factors are corrected, no amount of effort in any other way can correct the parent-child relationship.
In a nutshell- connect with yourself first- then connect with your child
